Rant – Cash for Clunkers
Barry: Rod, you couldn’t have used it anyway, as they wanted old Earth cars, not spaceships.
Rod: Hey, it says Cash for Clunkers, and you can see that bird is a clunker.
Barry: From the look of the dome, it looks like it got clunked a few times too many.
Rod: Hey, it was my old man’s and you know how he drives.
Barry: Is that what you call it?
Rod: Watch it, now.
Barry: Earth people have an event that his “driving” would be perfect for.
Rod: Oh? What is that?
Barry: I believe they call it a demolition derby.
Rod: What is that?
Barry: It is an event that happens at things humans call “County Fairs”. Drivers drive in the event, trying to crash the other cars without losing their ability to move.
Rod: That sounds like a LOT of fun. How do they determine the winner?
Barry: That’s easy: it is the last car moving after all the others have been totaled.
Rod: Tell me more about it.
Barry: Well, all the cars enter the outdoor arena, and start smashing each other.
Rod: Surely they don’t use new ones.
Barry: Oh no. They use old banged up ones, like your dad’s old ship there. The engines work great in them and some are, well let’s say enhanced.
Rod: How do they wreck each other and still be able to move?
Barry: They try to hit the other guy’s engine with the rear part of their car.
Rod: You’ve given me a great idea…..be back in a bit
Barry: Why do I think I will regret this conversation?
<a few hours later a very dirty Rod returns and collapses on the couch.>
Barry: What in the name of the rings of Horta have you been doing?
Rod: I went and found a demolition derby and entered it.
Barry: Please tell me you didn’t…..
Rod: Oh yes I did. I fixed up the old man’s ship and entered it.
Barry: How did you do?
Rod: Well, I was demolishing cars left and right, till they black flagged me.
Barry: Black flagged? You got disqualified?
Rod: Yeah I did
Barry: Why?
Rod: Remember you told me about the Cash for Clunkers was for cars, even though the title didn’t specify it?
Barry: Yeah….
Rod: It seems that you can’t disintegrate your opponent’s cars in a demolition derby.