Rod: What, you mean the government on this planet WANTS to confuse everyone and get people to do contradictory things?
Barry: Well, the first problem with your question is that there are a lot more than just one government on this planet, and they don’t all get along with each other.
Rod: That’s just plain stupid. Shouldn’t the goal of everyone on the planet be to simply live and survive?
Barry: You’d think so, but many times governments argue about petty things. Each government seems to want to convince everyone that all other governments that don’t agree with them 100% are evil.
Rod: Again, stupid. We have to help this planet.
Barry: Wait…why? We’re just going to annihilate it anyway, so who cares?
Rod: Good point, but until then we have to live here. I don’t like all the fighting and contradictions.
Barry: Agreed. Good government…what an oxymoron.
Rod: Wait, did you just call me a moron? Why you little…
Barry: Of course not, Rod. I’m talking about what you were talking about. An oxymoron is when words are used together that actually contradict each other.
Rod: Uh, I don’t get it.
Barry: Like, deafening silence.
Rod: How can silence cause you to be deaf?
Barry: Exactly!
Rod: Exactly what? How?
Barry: Or…clearly confused.
Rod: That describes me right now. You’re trying to explain things to me, but it’s the same difference as before you started trying.
Barry: That’s what I mean! You understand now.
Rod: Understand what?
Barry: Augh! Ok…here’s one even you can understand. Two words that are commonly used together but that actually contradict each other…military intelligence.
Rod: Hey, wait! We are part of our planet’s military.
Barry: See?